The Great Spirit, the Great Mystery, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha-mind, Ateshnahena, Gitche Manito, God — in every people of the world there is this concept, reality, belief and/or dogma.
But does He/She/It truly exist?
The best way to approach this subject, I think, is to share my experience with you. One can only speak of what one is/sees/feels if one wants to remain true. And truth is what we must seek, for in this world of confusion, wars, suffering and pollution, truth is of the utmost importance.
I was aware of many realities, with an independent mind, from a very young age. I have memories from the age when I could not yet walk, and very clear thoughts on matters of importance from the age of four. At my first communion in the Catholic Church Les Saints Martyrs Canadiens in Saskatoon, in the Canadian province of Saskatchewan, I experienced a moment of such clarity that I asked my father to take me to communion every morning for several months. He would take me very early, before his work and school, to different churches for the first morning mass. Each time I was filled with wonder at the colors of the stained-glass windows, the grandeur of the nave, the incomparable scent of incense in the churches and the people in prayer. These were moments of bliss.
At the age of eight, I was talking with a boy my age from the neighboring house and was exposed for the first time to an atheist way of thinking. As faith was at the center of my life, I naturally brought it up in my conversation with him. My neighbors had no beliefs and, in fact, did not believe in God, as this boy expressed to me. I was stunned, in great astonishment! How can we live in this world without this feeling of extraordinary presence?
My second serious questioning of faith came when I received the sacrament of confirmation. According to the Catholic teachings given to us, this would anchor us in our faith and we would then receive the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. So, after this ceremony officiated by the Bishop, I went and sat at the foot of a tree and waited for the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. Nothing came. I was left with a second question within me.
The third questioning came at puberty. When I felt sexual impulses awakening in me, I felt a conflict that made no sense. It was very clearly the will of nature, created by God, expressing itself within me — yet it went against the puritanical and repressive principles, dogmas and attitudes of the Catholic education of those times. It was too much. After much reflection, at the age of 13, I went to see the priest of our parish (we were then in Repentigny, in the Canadian province of Quebec) to inform him that I was leaving the church to discover within myself and in the world the exact nature of reality.
Despite this, the experience of God — or rather of the ineffable presence that revealed itself at moments within me — never left me. A wide-ranging and unbridled search then began, as many adolescents experience. But it did not end with adolescence. At university, my dreams revealed to me the presence of my indigenous ancestors, who continued to speak to me during my many walks in the wooded areas of the university campus. I came to understand that I would not find my way by continuing my music studies at university. Thus, I set out on the road with my guitar, a backpack and 15 dollars in my pockets. I was gone for two years. I lived it all. But it was my encounters with indigenous people from various nations that inspired me most. Not yet the elders, but young people my own age, grappling with the countless problems created by racism, police repression, poverty, alcoholism, drugs, and homelessness in the centres of Canadian cities. I was on what we were calling then, skid row.
I returned to Quebec, physically weakened by all these experiences, yet filled with a will to continue exploring the exact nature of human reality. I returned for a time to the church to help myself find sobriety. For two years I had shared the full life of the indigenous people I had lived with, so I had much to heal within myself. After several years of doing everything in the church — washing floors, singing at masses and funerals, and leading the choir — I nonetheless encountered the same closed, dogmatic and racist attitude that was not in keeping with Christian thought. I then turned to yoga, which was a great and joyful discovery, much more in line with my understanding of spirituality. Then, I met an indigenous spiritual Elder for the first time. That was the ultimate revelation. There, I found truth. There, when I was told that such and such a spiritual phenomenon would manifest, it did. And the Great Spirit, the Great Mystery, Gitche Manito, Ateshnahena, were at the center of all the practices.
And so, since the age of 25, I have immersed myself in the teaching and practice of indigenous spirituality. This led me to shamanism and later to Tibetan philosophy.
My understanding of this consciousness called God has never stopped deepening and expanding. I understand that my early moments of bliss, in which I saw the Presence in All things, were true. In every atom there is a consciousness, a presence, an intelligence that is ONE. This is in fact impossible to express in words. The Dzogchen spiritual path, found within Tibetan thought, expresses it clearly and repeatedly: the exact nature of the reality of each thing is immutable, inexpressible, total and at the same time empty. It is not something that can be grasped through discursive thought, which divides everything into subject and object — that is, me and what I see. In fact, there is no difference. But this cannot be acquired through thought, only through those precious moments of bliss in which presence reveals itself. A Russian spiritualist, Grigori Grabovoi, expressed it in a single sentence: there is no objective reality outside of consciousness.
My experiences with the Catholic Church have helped me along this path. Despite its shortcomings and an underlying attempt at perverted control, there is good in the fact that it initiates spiritual thought. This is the other aspect that cannot be neglected here, and which is fundamental to all true and genuine spiritualities. One needs the initiator. One needs the teacher, the guide, the guru, the lama, the spiritual Elder. It is a consciousness, if one can call it that, which passes from one person to another. One does not reach this in a vacuum, but through what our indigenous and shamanic traditions call Transmission. Yet this is only the first step on the path. What follows depends on us. It is acquired through the spiritual practice of a true and genuine way — that is, the ancient traditions. This is what the Christian tradition lacks. It is still very young and too dogmatic. But the teaching of the Teacher who initiated this spirituality of love is timeless truth. And will live on forever.
I apologize if this article is much longer than usual. The theme being addressed, and the sharing of my own experience, I believe, warranted this space to offer a moment of vital reflection on a subject of great importance.
(Please, so that I may continue my contributions here and in other areas, help me by visiting: https://laruchequebec.com/en/projects/invocation-a-besoin-de-vous. We are on the 10th day of a 50-day campaign and have reached 58% of the goal we need to achieve. Thank you!)